Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean it’s over.
“I have a graphic that says, ‘Older people have sex. Challenge yourself, ”says Joan Price, 77-year-old award-winning author, speaker and educator specializing in older adult sex. “There is no expiration date on sex, but a lot of people give up because their bodies don’t work the way they used to. Instead, we can adapt, invent and recreate exciting sex, and relax in it in a whole new way.
When you were younger, hormones were the engine of sex. As you age, your hormone levels decrease.
In men, this means lower levels of testosterone.
You may notice:
- Shorter orgasms
- Weaker ejaculation and less sperm
- You need more stimulation to get and maintain an erection
- You need more time to get another erection after you ejaculate
In women, estrogen levels drop before and after menopause.
You may notice:
Medical conditions and illness, medications, and surgery can affect your sexual health, just like your body image.
“Some people say, ‘Oh no, how can anyone want me with all these wrinkles?’ or “I can’t have sex because my erections are unreliable,” says Price. “But sex can be better at this time of life than ever before because we know each other. We know what we need and want in sex and in life. “
Tip 1: Communicate
Communication is the one universal sex tip for everyone at any age.
“Older people haven’t learned to talk about sex or even to recognize sexual pleasure and what they need,” Price says. “We haven’t learned to say to someone, ‘I would really love if you do this instead.'”
Whether you’ve been with your partner since dinner or for decades, no one can read your mind. The things that made you feel good when you were younger may not feel right now. Don’t pretend: learn to say what you need with love.
“Recognize where we are mentally and physically,” suggests Price. “Say, ‘I can’t hold this position because it hurts my knees, back or neck’ or ‘We have to have a threesome with a sex toy now because I can’t have an orgasm without it. . ‘ ‘
Tip 2: Develop your idea of good sex
Because a lack of hormones makes it harder to reach orgasm as you get older, you may not cross the finish line the way you used to. But you can still enjoy the ride.
“Sex is better when it’s not goal-oriented. We can relax in the pleasure of the sensation, ”says Price. “Don’t expect sex to be intercourse. There are many more ways to give and receive pleasure and sensations – and maybe orgasms – rather than having that sexual act that you always thought was “real sex”.
Tip 3: Try a sex toy
As you get older, a sex toy is not just an improvement; it can be the difference between having an orgasm or not. Price, who also reviews sex toys, says there are many wonderful toys available for both partners.
A good sex toy should be strong enough for your aging body, but should increase its intensity instead of going from zero to 100 mph. It should also be:
- Able to work for a long time without losing its load
- Easily rechargeable
- Made with body safe materials
- Comfortable to hold for long periods
- Slim (Price says aging vaginas “aren’t as welcoming as the girth”)
Perhaps most importantly, your sex toy should be something that you can easily control by look or feel. “There is nothing less sexy than reaching for your glasses to see the controls of your sex toy,” says Price.
Tip 4: Experiment with comfortable positions
Your preferred position may no longer feel good.
“Instead of ‘trying a new position’, I encourage people to find the position that is most comfortable for you – the one that allows you to focus on the pleasurable feeling without pain or pain,” says Price. “You can explore new positions for novelty and then settle back into the position that works best for you.”
Tip 5: Role play with a partner or in your mind
Role-playing gives you the freedom to say anything, do anything, and be anyone. Initial communication with your partner prepares you for success. Start with questions like these:
- Should we play one role at a time? Where can I find a set?
- Name something that turns you on just to think about it, even though you never would in real life?
- If we were to try to play what you just described, what role would you like me to play and how would you like me to play it?
If your partner isn’t comfortable with this, you can still play a role in your mind.
“Our main sexual organ is our brain,” says Price. “You can play a part in your fantasy without anyone knowing it. It is not a betrayal of what you do with your partner; it’s an improvement on what you do with your partner. “
Tip 6: Think About Age-Appropriate Erotica
If you consume erotica at a younger age, you might be more depressed than aroused. Think pornography, magazines, books, or age-appropriate websites.
“Seniors are already aware of how limited they are by the aging process, including aches, pains, and the inability to do things the way they used to,” Price says. “Celebrating age, not just acknowledging it, is a wonderful way to stay sexy and zesty as we get older.”
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