As with many stages in life, your first kiss is often a memorable and exciting occasion.
“I was 17 and the girl I kissed was a friend I had in high school, and it was a great experience,” says author William Cane. “It was exciting because it was the first one, and… that lip contact was definitely different from when I had kissed my grandmother or my aunt.”
Her first kiss made such an impression that Cane – a pseudonym for Michael Christian of New York – wrote the popular book The art of kissing.
Not everyone remembers their first kiss. Maybe it just wasn’t that special.
“If that was a negative, maybe it’s best to erase it from memory, and you could focus on the other kisses that might be more successful down the road,” Cane says.
Why is kissing important?
The exact history of the kisses is unclear. For example, we don’t know if the first humans kissed or how. Experts have long questioned whether this is an instinct or something that people learn to do.
“Kissing has likely appeared and disappeared all over the world throughout history for a variety of reasons related to intimacy and human connection,” says Sheril Kirshenbaum, scholar at Michigan State University and author of The science of kissing: what our lips tell us.
Kissing can serve a greater purpose than a sign of romantic affection. For example, says Kirshenbaum, it’s an important part of bonding mothers and babies.
“Our first experiences as infants often involve lip stimulation by being fed and kissed by our parents,” she says, “and later we associate these sensations with feelings of love, comfort and security when we want to express how we feel to someone. other.
“Kissing brings two people together like no other behavior,” says Kirshenbaum. “Each partner actively engages all of their senses to learn more about the other.”
Marilyn Anderson, author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl’s Guide to Dating Swamp Creatures, says “not only does it bind you together, it makes you happier, it reduces your stress, it can even help your skin.”
But she warns that when adults bond by kissing, it could become a problem.
“If you’re in the world trying to meet someone, yes, kissing can definitely tell you if you’re compatible with someone. And what i say in Never kiss a frog that is, don’t kiss the wrong guy because it has that influence on you. If you’re too bonded with someone and they’re not the right guy, you might end up sticking with them for too long.
Health Benefits of Kissing
Locking lips is “nature’s ultimate litmus test,” says Kirshenbaum.
“Our lips are filled with sensitive nerve endings that stimulate a relatively large part of our brain associated with taste, touch and smell,” she says.
Smooching is a way to gather clues about another person’s suitability as a partner, without knowing you are doing it.
It also triggers the release of important chemicals in your brain. “Kissing influences neurotransmitters and hormones like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, which also play an important role in our relationships,” says Kirshenbaum.
Oxytocin, for example, is linked to feelings of closeness, privacy, and security. Showing affection with the people you love can boost oxytocin. When your body releases oxytocin from physical touch, it can create a foundation for whole body wellness.
Kissing, hugging, cuddling, and cuddling, even with pets, can make you healthier overall. These things can help you:
You might think there is a factor in sharing saliva. Most of us have caught a cold from a sick family member, whether it’s through a hug or kiss or just being around their germs.
Research has found that couples share around 80 million bacteria during a 10-second kiss. But that’s a small percentage of the tens of billions of bacteria that live in the human mouth.
Is there a right or wrong way to kiss?
Kisses can have different meanings. It is a way for family and friends to show non-romantic affection. In some cultures, everyone greets each other with kisses on the check or air kisses.
When it comes to romance, there’s no right or wrong way to kiss, says sex therapist Claudia Six, PhD, of San Francisco.
“Everyone walks with one foot in front of the other, but we all look different when they do,” Six says. “Everyone has a way of walking, and everyone has a way of kissing.”
Still, you probably have a personal preference.
You might like it when your partner strokes your cheek or gently holds your neck during a kiss. Or you can find a more fulfilling full body embrace.
“I don’t know too many people who would like to be chatted, but there are people kissing and it’s really wet. Some people don’t like it, ”Anderson says.
But for others, a slobbery kiss can be perfect.
“I think kissing isn’t something you can really teach,” Anderson says. “I think if someone is doing something and you don’t like them, you can definitely tell them or try to teach them. But I think there is a chemistry when two people are kissing, and I hope you find someone who has chemistry with you.
Six says the basics of a good kiss are clear to most people: “Brush your teeth, shave. I’m just saying, be present. This is what I always tell people. It’s always about “how are you”. It’s not about what you do, it’s about how you are.
Kirshenbaum sums it up this way: “From appeasing a difficult baby to expressing romance, kissing has so many meanings, best interpreted by people who do.”
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